Fast Come-Unification

Communication is getting fast! Really fast! If you miss someone who is at some location beyond your geographical knowledge, what do you do? If that person does not already have a Gtalk id or equivalent, you log on to Orkut, or some social networking site, type their name and send them a message. And bam! An instant later you get a notification, “One new message”. In India, if you miss your better half, who is out of station, what do you do? You call them using the Reliance Mobile so that you can have uninterrupted pleasure-talk sessions. It is not Gtalk these days, it is infact ‘Gee, Talk!’ If you’re some homesick guy in the U.S, U.K you can have voice/video chat with your family back home constantly reassuring that you’re having awesome food and are strictly a virgin when it comes to drinks and women, or in some weird cases, men! You get GBPS LAN connections these days, so downloading porn, television series and games just became more fun. And yes, what do you do when you meet that special girl you’ve always dreamed about? Do you tell her about your feelings, how much she means to you, or how special she makes you feel? Do you take her to a romantic setting, with white curtains and red carpets, two glasses of champagne and the gusty wind, and profess your love for her. Naah! You just say some sleazy pickup lines and get right to the business ;) I’m not saying it is bad to be so horny and less communicative, but sometimes it does not pay to talk and let your partner into your heart. To this most couples would say “Corporeal actions speak more than words – it’s a kind of chemical phenomenon you wouldn’t understand, you need to be in love”. I have nothing to say to the above other than, “Please read between the lines”. A human heart has no means to communicate with other hearts, human or not, so put your tongue into good use, not just the erotic places. Sometimes, you would be surprised how better you feel when you’ve opened your heart to someone. These things are not achieved by fantastic kisses, or out-of-the-world make-out sessions, but through taking time and talking your heart out.

Now come over to the so-called chat-linguistics a.k.a ‘chat-room lingo’. Sorry, I just used two of them ‘a.k.a’ and ‘lingo’. This is pathetic – language is going to the dogs. Okay what is really the hurry, you can spend hours shagging off in some cheap café or at home but you cannot take time to type proper English words to your chat room buddy? Enthusiasts will again oppose, “This lingo just makes communication with a buddy so cool and jazzy! And not to mention quick too! Full words are just so lame”. Again I have nothing much to say to this except, “When you make you make-out, why do you take some much time to get really intense with your make-out buddy, when what you’re doing is essentially fluid exchange and can be easily and quickly achieved by storing them in fancy, iced containers and then exchanging them. It would be quick, jazzy and cool too!” However college linguistics and nicknames are not be confused with chat-room talk. Names as Bhaatu, Chochu, faccha are too cute to be given up.

Our political leaders have another amusing means of communication – they neither use chat-room linguistics or sleazy pickup lines. They rather throw chairs in the parliament sessions or make vulgar verbal assaults in a ‘civilized crowd’. Come to think of it, how many leaders have you seen actually using proper, well-formed words to convince others of the logic behind their propaganda?

A brief note before I continue further – this is not in appraisal of the Bengali people, who are credited for talking too much. No way, they don’t talk much, not essential or logical stuff anyway :), it is just that they talking awfully fast and loud, so anyone can misjudge the quantity and quality of their talk to be substantial.

Okay, tell me how this sounds – the movie Independence Day without that inspirational speech by the American president? Or if those cute Bollywood movies where the protagonist and his love interest go through lot of struggles and finally fall in love and make out in the end, lacked the poignant lines and just cut to the sex. How would it be different from some cheap pornographic movie?

Let me deviate from the topic now. Most people would deem this weird and insensible. Chatting is a fast way to get to your friends no doubt. Gee-talk is awesome in many ways, mainly because it gives ‘phone-bill conscious’ people a freeway to talk. But it sort of ruins that excitement when you receive a mail. If you communicate over a long period of time over mail it is far more exciting than you do on a chat, atleast I feel so. Take an example, consider a beautiful girl who was your crush adds you on Gee-talk. You feel elated, you buzz her and you guys have a long chat that leaves you exhausted and with a different impression of that girl – an impression which is neither pleasant or worthy of a crush. I’m saying from personal experience that even sensitive things (which I miss out to convey in word-of-mouth) in mails have always been, well, exciting and more comfortable. It’s always been like that love in first sight experience, there’s always the thrill, the anticipation of a reply. In chat, you tend to overlong conversations that were meant to be short or cutoff on some important conversations. Anyways, it’s just a thing what I have always felt.

Coming back, the point is – people, it is sometimes just enough to talk random even it does not make sense, just to channel your thoughts, emotions and for the clichéd ‘getting it off your chest’. If this is not enough, just do it to exercise your jaws! Couples, leaders and common man, instead of ‘just’ – making out, fighting, resorting to violent means, using vague vocabulary or in some cases loud meaningless Bengali talk, please make an effort to talk your way effectively in and out of things, in a calm manner. So next time you take your girl friend (or someone else’s for that matter) out, talk to her about things – break up honestly if you think things are not working out, just do not keep the relationship going because of the sex (nicknamed as ‘passion’ by most) or if things are perfect, talk about it to make her feel special and then get down to business! There’s a reason why all couples in the world say the clichéd ‘I love you’ in some form of the other. Think about it!

Let’s not make our conversations fast and short rather let the medium of communication be fast while the communication be true, effective, and of its apposite length!